They want to do WHAT to my HUH?!

I was surfing the web in search of some new scientific research that says you CAN eat all the French Fries you want and still loose weight. No such luck but I’m holding out hope. Something did catch my eye however… one of the links displayed on the page I was reading had this eye catching line, “Is anal bleaching for you?”

Now I know Americans are a vain bunch of people. We spend billions every year on waxing, tucking, pinching, whitening, highlighting, toning, etc. I admit I’m guilty of this myself. In the last few years, I’ve become too lazy to bend over and tend to my feet. I’d rather pay $25 every two weeks for someone to basically wash, trim and paint my toenails. I also got tired of plucking my eyebrows so I pay to have them waxed. In the grand scheme of things that’s not a lot of money considering I have friends who get their hair cut and colored every month dropping at least $200 a visit. I limit myself to these two luxuries though as I don’t want to ever be considered a high maintenance woman who refuses to leave her house without makeup.

I wonder, then, what type of women invests in anal bleaching. Clearly there’s a market for it. I did a little investigating and discovered that this is the latest in a strange trend of vanity procedures. In addition to having their anus bleached, women can also become re-virginized (a surgical procedure to tighten their vaginas in case their Kegel exercises don’t work). They can also have cosmetic surgery on their labia, in case they don’t find them attractive enough. So many questions are running through my mind right now. Is this for their own personal pleasure or for their man (or men)? How does one determine that their labia are ugly enough to require surgery? And who the hell really cares?! I mean, when I found myself considering a Brazilian I thought, this really isn’t something that will make me feel more attractive. I’m not vain enough to endure that kind of pain.

In a world where women in third world countries are enduring horrible acts like genital mutilations and castrations, having their vaginas sewn shut to ensure they remain virgins until they are wed and forced to be sex slaves at young ages, I have no desire for someone to mess around with my nether region in any shape or form even if it will make me “feel” better.

I knew before even reading the article that I was definitely not a candidate for anal bleaching. Now should I suddenly become double jointed in my hips and have a desire to look at that part of my body for hours on end, then yes, perhaps I might look into it.
One day I might give natural birth to a litter of children or I might decide that I want to be the Asian Jenna Jameson but in the mean time I will keep my vanities to parts of my body that can be displayed in a public arena.